Reports of the afterlife are not uncommon from either patients who have stopped breathing on the operating table or those who find themselves slipping away after a serious road crash – before being brought back from the brink of death by medics.
Below are the accounts of people who described their moments when they nearly died but were revived back to life.
Death is Tempting
I was 15, had been through about 3-4 months of chemotherapy. I’d had a nosebleed on and off throughout the day and then after I went to bed it just kept on going. I couldn’t sleep, just had to keep lying there, mopping my nose and sneezing out these rubbery little bloodclots. At about 2am I started to feel sick so I reached for the container (I always had one by my bed because the meds I was on gave me really bad morning sickness) and threw up. It was a thick, dark red.
After that I only remember what happened in short bursts. I think my mum had got up to go the bathroom and I managed to hit the wall loud enough for her to hear, she came in and there was blood everywhere, coming out my nose and mouth, all over the bed and on the walls. Real horror show. Then I remember a paramedic being there, trying to help me out of the bed. I must’ve collapsed against the wall after that because next time I came round I was strapped to a stretcher and they were taking me downstairs.
Then I was in the hospital, surrounded by about 6 doctors with these huge lights pointed right at me. It was to try and keep me warm because I’d lost so much blood. I could feel myself sweating but I was still cold, it was a weird feeling.
One of the doctors cauterized my nose and I definitely felt that, it hurt like a m*tf*r even compared to my insides tearing themselves apart with sepsis and C. Difficile. The doctor who did it was so nervous that he pushed the white-hot material they use for cauterization right through my septum, I still have the hole today.
The worst part of it all, looking back, is how peaceful it can seem. When I started vomiting blood, I went into shock. Hitting the wall to get my mums attention was a subconscious thing, the rest of me just… stopped caring. When the doctors were trying to save my life, I just wanted to black out again. I didn’t want the lights to hurt my eyes and the doctors to hurt the rest of me any more, the unconsciousness seemed easier. And that’s how it felt when I was in the ICU for a few weeks after that, doped up on ketamine and slipping in and out of life. Being asleep was easy, being awake meant more pain and less dignity.
So if you want to know what it’s like to be that close to death, it’s tempting. It’s like wanting to hit the snooze button on your alarm at 7am. And maybe you do hit it once or twice but then you remember that you have work or school and that sleep can wait because you’ve still got shit to do.