Sometime or somewhere, each one of us have felt an empty void in our life. You start to question the true meaning of your existence or if it’s even worth living with all the mess, the heartbreak and the sadness all around you. Each breath is a struggle and there’s only darkness all around you.
People around you might say “Go out and have fun”, “Find some really good friends”, “Get a hobby” Or “Listen to some music and you’ll feel better”. While that might be true but it’s only temporary. By the time you are done meeting friends or having fun, the feeling of emptiness returns or you you might be in a room of 20 people and still feel all alone. Remember, you feel alone and not lonely, there’s a difference. More on this below.
Why am I feeling this way?
That empty void is only recognised by those who want meaning and purpose to their life. People who don’t want to forcefully fill in that emptiness with temporary satisfactions and excitements such as music, food, friends or shopping. People who question their existence.
God and you are just gestalts. If you are there, God remains hidden. When you disappear, he becomes manifest. When you come back again, he becomes hidden. Your very presence hides him; your presence functions as a cloud – Osho
What do I do?
The answer might come as a shock but I say, Let it grow. Allow this feeling and don’t stop questioning. Only then will you seek the true meaning of your life. Constantly question each and every act of your life no matter how small. What do I need from life? Will getting married give me what I seek? What do I seek? Going out makes me happy but why doesn’t it last?
Each and every act in your life should take you closer to the truth, but only if you never stop questioning.
So don’t try to find a way out. There is no way out of it because it is all. You cannot go anywhere else. The only out is for the mind to start functioning again – in fear. You gather thoughts around, you make relationships; you go to the marketplace, you get lost in the crowd. Then you are not empty. You have missed. You have missed the door you have been seeking for lives.
I cry when I feel this way
If you do, then this emptiness is negative. This emptiness is only death and there’s no resurrection in it. There’s no light at the end but only deep bottomless darkness. This emptiness is like loneliness and not aloneness. Loneliness is negative and brings negative emotions however aloneness is full of peace and stability.
If you cry then it’s a result deep frustration, absence of something. It’s a trick of the mind that needs you to fill the absence with something. You are hankering for something to happen: some relationship, some achievement, some recognition. This emptiness is thinking of the future, it is hoping that at the end the emptiness will not be there and you will feel fulfilled. Your mind is working at full speed. You are a slave to the mind.
Emptiness, when positive, has no future. It doesn’t seek fulfillment. It is just there and your mind is watching helplessly from the sidelines because it has lost all control over you.
You need to change this negative into the positive. Meditate more but without expectations. Love more but without expectations. Don’t be goal-oriented, it will only bring frustration. Be free of all expectations and you will change the negative into the positive.
You will start feeling full, you will start feeling blissful. You will start feeling, for the first time, that you are.